Illusions
by NekoIllustrations
Summary: Kanda reflects on his life and his inevitable fate.
1. Chapter 1

A.N: Spoiler Warning: If you haven't read chapter 186 of DGM please do not read this.

Illusion

I walk a dark path, with only an Illusion by my side. I cannot break away, for I was cursed to see this horrible hallucination ever since I was born. No, the appropriate word is created, created nine years ago in a lab. For what, exactly? For the benefit of others, nameless and faceless strangers who see fit to use me at their discretion. Though, of course, their higher-ups didn't give a damn about me, for I was a failure. Destined to die before I really had a chance to live, I became known as an exorcist to most and known as a second exorcist to my creators and the ones who forced the project upon them. The funny thing is that, even though people notice my insane healing ability and that, even though I was labeled an equipment-type exorcist, the akuma bullets never seem to affect me, they see me as a normal human, like them. What would they do if they knew? How would they react? Would I be shunned? Or would they not care because I would die soon, anyway?

*sigh* I don't really care either way, nor do I care about The Order. At least, that's what I say. After all that's happened in my nine years of working for them, my feelings are starting to waver. It's probably because of that stupid Moyashi, what with his desire to save everyone, humans and akuma alike. Heh, but I don't believe I'll live long enough to see the end of this war. After all, what that idiot chief said to me was true, my life is running out. The mark on my chest pains me when my healing ability activates, it never did before. I'm far too aware that my time is approaching; the end of my long road is appearing before me. I wonder what will happen when I'm gone. Of course, the innocence implanted in Mugen will be stored within Hevlaska and its weapon form will be destroyed, but what of the others. Tch', damn it, I shouldn't think of them. They're just illusions, like the flower slowly dropping its petals beside me, counting down to my life's end. Like the flower, when I die, they will fade as well and my world will become…

Dark


	2. Chapter 2

**Important Update to All Readers**

So, I'm happily settled into college, and working hard to build my major and get through my classes. It is understandable, therefore, that finding time for writing fanfics is a little difficult. Even so, I do have a couple in the works -or reworks. I'm going to write/finish/finalize work for the following series: The Betrayal Knows My Name (because I haven't finished even one version yet), D Gray-Man (because I owe it to myself), Bleach (because I have a fun plot line I'd like to work with, and I've never actually gone very far with writing for Bleach before), and _maybe_ Naruto (if I can keep the idea in my head long enough). As per usual, these will all have some version of my OC Kai, and other OCs will play parts in these fics as well (expect repeat performances from the names Haru, Akira, and Ren). I would like to stress, though, that this is not for lack of creativity, but for lack of energy to create any more new characters, especially when I fear I might bring in OCs from my book. That's right, folks, I'm writing a fantasy novel (I mean it, an actual novel with its own original plot and everything -holy sh*t, right?) and it's taken priority over writing with other people's characters. Still, every author needs a break from her own creations, and I consider working with "stock characters" a good break. That's why I will keep writing fanfiction for now. I do plan to finish each of the aforementioned stories, but updates will be slower, and it will take longer to get them done. All I ask for is your patience, and for you all not to be too hard on my when I hang up the long-term fanfiction hat permanently, which I will do when I finish the fanfics I've promised. I say long-term, though, because I may come back with a few shonen-ai oneshots every once in a while.

The long-term fics I am writing are final drafts of the following already published stories (sorted by series):

_( D Gray-Man)_

In Memoriam

Bound by the Symbol of Kegare

Forced Forbearance

Give Me a Reason

_(Betrayal/Uraboku)_

It's Just a Looking Glass

Where Hell Is a Good Thing

_(Bleach)_

Faded

These are the working titles for the upcoming fics, along with the intended pairings (subject to change):

_(D Gray-Man) _

Life Worth Living- KandaxOC (Maybe, it could end up just a friendship between the two of them).

_(Betrayal/Uraboku) _

Black on Black- LuzexOC (I'm actually really excited for this one)

_(Bleach) _

Security- OCxOC (heterosexual); OCxOC (homosexual) (Another one I'm pumped for)

_(Naruto)_

Fine Line- GaaraxOC (again, I may not write this. The idea isn't fully formed yet and I'm not as invested in the series as I once was).

I've already said it, but I'll reiterate: these are FINAL DRAFTS. If I haven't already completed them, I will NOT be finishing any of the already published stories that the finals are based off of. For that matter, I will not be finishing any other incomplete fics either. I simply don't have the time or inspiration.

As always, I appreciate your support. I won't delete my account, nor will I delete any previously written fics, as they serve as a reminder of how much I've improved as a writer. I hope you all will appreciate the new work coming your way. Nothing makes an author happier than receive feedback on her work. Thank you again, and I hope you're all excited for what's to come.

Feel free to message me with any questions!

~H


	3. Chapter 3

Please go to my account profile and read what's there- IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.


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